Race and soul and all the rest of it:

Allegory of the family crest

Grace Marlier

I.

When she was seven years old, An American child took a book

off her father's shelf and opened it to a densely

illustrated page. It was rows of empty spaces, all the same

shape, and each one bisected, ornamented, somehow filled.

her first reaction was fascination. to which was quickly

added boredom.

II.

When fascination and boredom overlap one another, what is

the result?

-It's rather new, I think, in the history of humanity,

particularly if one includes the millions of years before

"civilization" began. No-one even knows when "intellect"

appeared. Thus, the words are inadequate.

That said, I will borrow a method from my friends in the

medical profession, who describe a disease by describing

what it does to people. There isn't a disease yet that's

gone without such a description.

When fascination and boredom overlap, as they did in the

case of this child, the result first is lassitude, or if

you prefer a harsher noun, disinterest.

Close behind is guilt. Shame for existing without the will

to understand, and by understanding to take control, to

participate, to make oneself.

without energy and interest, one cannot evolve consciously

and intelligently, guided by knowledge, principle, and

reason.

At this point one of two things generally happens.

The first is to forget entirely, to block the phenomena

that sparked the reaction. This treats the symptoms.

the second is a series of reflexes:

Frustration

then Rage

then Violence

then a relapse to fascination and boredom.

III.

She found her father in the kitchen, held up the book to

him, opened to the page and asked: What is this?

He explained to her, what it is, a family crest. He tried

to define the aristocracy and the not-aristocracy. The

words were inadequate. She interrupted him to ask:

Do we have one?

he stared at her. At his reflection in her frantic eyes.

"no".